the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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