i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
