ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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