Who wears a wallet chain?!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
