Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
