I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
This house was built for laser tag.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
