I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
