I haven't been this sober since birth.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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