The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
