Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
