the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
