remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
this boner is exhausting
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
