We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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