just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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