i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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