to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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