Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
