i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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