Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
