i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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