Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
