ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My breasts were aching with rage.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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