No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
