Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
