Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
