i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
