I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
