So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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