ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
