Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
