...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
