I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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