Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
