today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
