i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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