I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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