capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So squirting runs in the family.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
