OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize