do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
