:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
