You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
