So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
