Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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