it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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