Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
