Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just high enough for therapy.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
