That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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