Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
