I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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