scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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